When you’ve experienced a toxic relationship or gone through a difficult breakup, the thought of loving again can be frightening. After experiencing hurt, the idea of opening your heart and trusting another lover can feel like the equivalent of jumping off a cliff into a bottomless black hole. Doesn’t sound fun at all right?
As human beings though, we are creatures of connection. We thrive on being in partnership with other human beings and especially with a significant other. For most of us, it’s the ultimate human experience and denying this human impulse requires a tremendous amount of energy.
CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH ENERGY IT COSTS YOU TO ACTIVELY CLOSE YOUR HEART? TO BUILD WALLS AND SOMEHOW KEEP THEM FROM FALLING DOWN?
There’s a part of you that feels scared, and for some of you, it may be a huge part. But there’s also another part of you that longs to love again. That part craves it and knows it’s more than possible.
Can you imagine how...
As I work with women transitioning out of difficult relationships, I hear so many women talk about the pain…the way it tears through you like it is going to rip you apart. I remember going through the end of relationships where it hurt so badly it was a struggle to breathe. You wonder, how you’ll get through it and doubt that you'll make it through. You tell yourself there’s no way anyone can survive this amount of heartbreak.
The longer you sit in pain, the more it builds up. Suddenly, in your mind you are rewriting history. Remembering things as better than they really were. Questioning yourself, your feelings, your choices. Terrified to move forward because you question this as well. Before long you are frozen and have no idea which way to turn. Pain very quickly turns into suffering.
There is a quote that I love that says “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” At some point, we all have to choose out of suffering, even if taking one step...