I am the source of my reality.
I use my voice.
I take up space.
I make my presence known.
It took me a very long time to own this as my truth. To trust in myself enough to know that it is up to me and only me to create my own safety in the world. To understand that I do not ever have to give anyone or anything this sort of power in my life.
And the result… freaking FREEDOM!
I can’t even tell you how much energy I put into staying small and trying to be invisible, thinking that was the best way to keep myself safe. Biting back my opinions, speaking with a softer tone, making sure I didn’t stand out. Blending.
I would notice it in conversations when I would use as few words as possible, in social settings when I would feel myself contract inward and silently observe, when I would ask so many questions about others and divert the topic away from me as soon as possible.
And then I would wonder why I felt so unseen and undervalued. Why I didn’t get noticed or feel...
Are you deeply and profoundly in love with you?
When we think about falling in love, we usually think about falling in love with another person. That human being who is going to be our partner and touch us deeply at the core of our very being. And it truly is magical when you think about it. The flirting, the anticipation, the curiosity, and the discovery. It’s absolutely one of the most amazing human experiences I can think of.
And… so is the experience of falling in love with you. Now, I don’t just mean liking yourself or thinking you’re ok enough. I mean, loving yourself so much that your heart swells with gratitude and appreciation for everything you are and everything you will be. Loving yourself down to the core of who you are, all of you, through to the depths of your soul.
Does this sound silly? Impossible? Am I just an idealist or a romantic? The answer is no, but I understand that you might not want to just take my word for it.
So, I have a...
Do you ever take time to reflect on your life?
When I look back and reflect on mine, the word that comes to my mind is, FULL.
I’ve lived a life full of laughter, joy, sadness, heartbreaks, disappointments, really bad decisions, really good decisions, awful mistakes, and huge lessons. I’ve found my way through impossible situations and overcome things I thought would break me down. I’ve picked myself back up (a few times), learned some really tough, but cool shit, and grown a lot more than I ever thought was possible.
I’ve felt things deeply and profoundly, in the only way my sensitive soul knows how.
For a long time, reflecting on my life was a fancy title for beating myself up. I’d look back and obsess over all the things that I could’ve done differently. My endless thoughts of “what if,” “if only,” and “how could I” played on repeat in my head. It wasn’t that I necessarily had regrets, more that I...
As I work with women transitioning out of difficult relationships, I hear so many women talk about the pain…the way it tears through you like it is going to rip you apart. I remember going through the end of relationships where it hurt so badly it was a struggle to breathe. You wonder, how you’ll get through it and doubt that you'll make it through. You tell yourself there’s no way anyone can survive this amount of heartbreak.
The longer you sit in pain, the more it builds up. Suddenly, in your mind you are rewriting history. Remembering things as better than they really were. Questioning yourself, your feelings, your choices. Terrified to move forward because you question this as well. Before long you are frozen and have no idea which way to turn. Pain very quickly turns into suffering.
There is a quote that I love that says “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” At some point, we all have to choose out of suffering, even if taking one step...