I am the source of my reality.
I use my voice.
I take up space.
I make my presence known.
It took me a very long time to own this as my truth. To trust in myself enough to know that it is up to me and only me to create my own safety in the world. To understand that I do not ever have to give anyone or anything this sort of power in my life.
And the result… freaking FREEDOM!
I can’t even tell you how much energy I put into staying small and trying to be invisible, thinking that was the best way to keep myself safe. Biting back my opinions, speaking with a softer tone, making sure I didn’t stand out. Blending.
I would notice it in conversations when I would use as few words as possible, in social settings when I would feel myself contract inward and silently observe, when I would ask so many questions about others and divert the topic away from me as soon as possible.
And then I would wonder why I felt so unseen and undervalued. Why I didn’t get noticed or feel...
One of the most empowering skills I’ve ever learned is the ability to choose the way I want to feel. For most of my life, I didn’t even know this was an option. I assumed that my emotions dictated my feelings and that I simply had no control over that.
I imagine myself being dragged around on a leash by my emotions, being pulled this way and that way, having no say in the direction I was going or what would come next. I remember putting so much stock in my emotions, believing them at every turn, and making some pretty big life decisions simply because I was feeling a certain way.
When you really think about it, our emotions are really all over the place. One moment we can feel one way and then with the blink of an eye, that emotion disappears and another one takes its place. A good deal of the time, we don’t even know why. Emotions are constantly coming and going, and if we follow them around blindly, eventually we may find ourselves standing in a place we...
I don’t know about you, but I denied my anger for far too long. Always believing that being angry, showing anger, was a sign of my weakness. An emotional fault of my female body that I needed to get under control. Something that would cause others to take me less seriously or even ridicule me.
The few times I remember showing my anger, I was greeted with patronizing comments, told to relax, grow up, and reminded that I was overreacting. Quickly hiding my anger back where nobody could see it, translating the reactions around me to mean that there was something wrong with me. Something I needed to get under control.
And, so I did. I controlled my anger, buried it deep inside and told myself I was becoming an evolved version of myself. Becoming the “cool girl” that was palpable to those around me. Eating up comments about how chill or easy I was to be around and reveling in how liked I was.
Over and over, selling myself out to this BS belief that my anger was wrong,...
I’ve been thinking a lot about purpose lately. Thinking about how so many of us struggle to find our purpose, know what our purpose is, and then to live into that purpose consistently. Struggle to know where to even begin.
When we aren’t connected to our purpose, we can feel lost, wandering without a destination. We can feel a sense of unease or even emptiness, unsure of what steps we are meant to be taking in our lives.
And of course, feeling this way can lead to feeling even more disconnected from ourselves and finding our way to that purpose.
As I’ve been thinking about purpose, I’ve been thinking about how massive a question it is. I mean, life purpose, think about that statement, it’s pretty huge. Why are we here? What are we meant to do? What is our very reason for even existing?
No wonder the quest for purpose can feel so overwhelming and so difficult in obtaining.
So, what if we were to see things from a different lens and consider a different...
Are you deeply and profoundly in love with you?
When we think about falling in love, we usually think about falling in love with another person. That human being who is going to be our partner and touch us deeply at the core of our very being. And it truly is magical when you think about it. The flirting, the anticipation, the curiosity, and the discovery. It’s absolutely one of the most amazing human experiences I can think of.
And… so is the experience of falling in love with you. Now, I don’t just mean liking yourself or thinking you’re ok enough. I mean, loving yourself so much that your heart swells with gratitude and appreciation for everything you are and everything you will be. Loving yourself down to the core of who you are, all of you, through to the depths of your soul.
Does this sound silly? Impossible? Am I just an idealist or a romantic? The answer is no, but I understand that you might not want to just take my word for it.
So, I have a...
Do you ever take time to reflect on your life?
When I look back and reflect on mine, the word that comes to my mind is, FULL.
I’ve lived a life full of laughter, joy, sadness, heartbreaks, disappointments, really bad decisions, really good decisions, awful mistakes, and huge lessons. I’ve found my way through impossible situations and overcome things I thought would break me down. I’ve picked myself back up (a few times), learned some really tough, but cool shit, and grown a lot more than I ever thought was possible.
I’ve felt things deeply and profoundly, in the only way my sensitive soul knows how.
For a long time, reflecting on my life was a fancy title for beating myself up. I’d look back and obsess over all the things that I could’ve done differently. My endless thoughts of “what if,” “if only,” and “how could I” played on repeat in my head. It wasn’t that I necessarily had regrets, more that I...
Confusion is defined by Dictionary.com as disorder; upheaval; tumult; chaos, lack of clearness or distinctness, perplexity, bewilderment.
If you’re breathing, you’ve been confused at one point or another. Perhaps about a relationship, your career, or even your life purpose. I’m also going to guess that being confused felt pretty uncomfortable and frustrating. I mean, take a look at the definition of confusion, who the heck wants to experience that, right?
Having this mindset and belief system about confusion can give you the sensation of being stuck. Feelings like chaos, lack of clarity, and bewilderment can be exhausting and hold you back. Confusion can leave you running around that never ending hamster wheel, spinning and spinning yet getting nowhere.
What if there was another way to look at confusion? What if you could flip your script and create an empowering belief about what it actually means to be confused?
What if you redefined what it means to...
When you’ve experienced a toxic relationship or gone through a difficult breakup, the thought of loving again can be frightening. After experiencing hurt, the idea of opening your heart and trusting another lover can feel like the equivalent of jumping off a cliff into a bottomless black hole. Doesn’t sound fun at all right?
As human beings though, we are creatures of connection. We thrive on being in partnership with other human beings and especially with a significant other. For most of us, it’s the ultimate human experience and denying this human impulse requires a tremendous amount of energy.
CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH ENERGY IT COSTS YOU TO ACTIVELY CLOSE YOUR HEART? TO BUILD WALLS AND SOMEHOW KEEP THEM FROM FALLING DOWN?
There’s a part of you that feels scared, and for some of you, it may be a huge part. But there’s also another part of you that longs to love again. That part craves it and knows it’s more than possible.
Can you imagine how...