One of the most empowering skills I’ve ever learned is the ability to choose the way I want to feel. For most of my life, I didn’t even know this was an option. I assumed that my emotions dictated my feelings and that I simply had no control over that.
I imagine myself being dragged around on a leash by my emotions, being pulled this way and that way, having no say in the direction I was going or what would come next. I remember putting so much stock in my emotions, believing them at every turn, and making some pretty big life decisions simply because I was feeling a certain way.
When you really think about it, our emotions are really all over the place. One moment we can feel one way and then with the blink of an eye, that emotion disappears and another one takes its place. A good deal of the time, we don’t even know why. Emotions are constantly coming and going, and if we follow them around blindly, eventually we may find ourselves standing in a place we...
I don’t know about you, but I denied my anger for far too long. Always believing that being angry, showing anger, was a sign of my weakness. An emotional fault of my female body that I needed to get under control. Something that would cause others to take me less seriously or even ridicule me.
The few times I remember showing my anger, I was greeted with patronizing comments, told to relax, grow up, and reminded that I was overreacting. Quickly hiding my anger back where nobody could see it, translating the reactions around me to mean that there was something wrong with me. Something I needed to get under control.
And, so I did. I controlled my anger, buried it deep inside and told myself I was becoming an evolved version of myself. Becoming the “cool girl” that was palpable to those around me. Eating up comments about how chill or easy I was to be around and reveling in how liked I was.
Over and over, selling myself out to this BS belief that my anger was wrong,...