When you’ve experienced a toxic relationship or gone through a difficult breakup, the thought of loving again can be frightening. After experiencing hurt, the idea of opening your heart and trusting another lover can feel like the equivalent of jumping off a cliff into a bottomless black hole. Doesn’t sound fun at all right?
As human beings though, we are creatures of connection. We thrive on being in partnership with other human beings and especially with a significant other. For most of us, it’s the ultimate human experience and denying this human impulse requires a tremendous amount of energy.
CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH ENERGY IT COSTS YOU TO ACTIVELY CLOSE YOUR HEART? TO BUILD WALLS AND SOMEHOW KEEP THEM FROM FALLING DOWN?
There’s a part of you that feels scared, and for some of you, it may be a huge part. But there’s also another part of you that longs to love again. That part craves it and knows it’s more than possible.
Can you imagine how much pain this part of you is in, the part that desires love and connection, each time another brick gets laid on top of your walls? Can you imagine how much energy it’s taking you to keep that part of you silenced and under control?
HERE’S THE DEAL. THE MORE WALLS YOU BUILD, THE MORE PAIN YOU’LL CREATE WITHIN YOURSELF.
It may seem like the walls are keeping you safe, but I promise you, they’re not. Instead, they’re making it impossible for you to breathe and difficult for you to function. With each passing day they get heavier, weighing you down and suffocating you.
What is it costing you to put your energy into building walls? What becomes possible in your life when you let those walls crumble and focus instead on love?
Either way you’re going to have to work hard and either way you’re going to have to go through the pain.
This process may be difficult, but it will be brief and it will be with purpose AND…. You’ll come out on the other side with the freedom to live joyfully and love fully once again.
With love and joy,